I am numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose controlCause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

Another fail,
another rejection.

I am quite stoned right now

Okay, so my phone is sorted. thankyou. My job is kind of sorted.. I quit. Going through the process of finding a new one at the moment - so lots of interviews & applications forms, which is FUN! Exams... fucking joke ahah, had one today, winged it pretty much. Don't really care, just gota get them done. Only 2 left. Fucking drag they are.
so yeahhhh. im well bored with life at the moment. something needs to happen. but i dont like saying that cos now something well bad is going to happen. something GOOD please:)

thankyou.
goodbye x

Everything is falling apart.
i swear to god i cannot carry on like this, its all just falling

everything is in such a MESS at the moment. im going to fail all my exams next week, because i have done no work, been to none of the lessons. my dad hates me. ive lost my phone & have to pay 240 quid to cancel the contract, i hate my job & u get scared to go, my boss is having a go at me for not turning up. and i dont want to go this wkend cos i have to work 9-5 saturday & sunday. help help help. and this isnt even mentioning the insane depression to do with my mum & my life.
what a fucking mess.
i need someone to sort it all out, cos i cant do it myself.

never, ever, trust anyone. because they will let you down. everyone will let you down. it's always the same.

i will always be the friend. the other person. the other girl.
things never really change.