No more

Oh my fucking god. I actually cannot believe it.
I am bare, completely exposed now. Dyed my hair dark, no more make up, no more fake eye lashes, no more hair extensions and no more slutty clothes. I literally cannot convey to you how fucking scared I am right now. But guess what, I got through anorexia and that was fucking scary, so I can fucking do this. Why is it that I feel so much more valid and confidant when guys look at me, and people beep at me and whistle. Why? It's pathetic isn't it. Just like anorexia was a mask, and a safety net, make up & appearence was my safety net. It's gone now. All gone. So, it's just me. Just me, only me. So if you don't like you can fuck right out of my life, and you're not really worth bothering with. I can do this, right? Of course I can, I'm Alice fucking Reid.
I wish my Mum was here to tell me it will be okay.
Thnakyou Carla. Thankyou so much, I think you might have set me free:)
It will take a while for me not to be scared, just like it did with anorexia, but I think I'll get there.
Anyway, this is all for you. All of you who told me that what I was doing was wrong; I've changed for you all - I am no longer skinny, no longer peroxide blonde, no longer piled with make up, is there anything else? Anything else I can do for you? Because this life I'm living, it's all for you lot, not for me. Never for me.