it's really fucking weird breaking up for the christmas holidays a fragile anorexic shell - chronically underweight, and coming back fat. So difficult to know if people have really noticed, or whether it's just me being paranoid and self obsessed? Guess I won't ever really know... just have to keep telling myself that no one really cares. People are so wrapped up in their own lives and problems; me included. If it was someone else I don't know if I would notice.
Okay, so I've put on the weight.. and I am better physically, but it doesn't mean my head isn't stilll fucked. I do sometimes wish people wouldn't assume that I am absolutely fine now. Because I'm not really. Yeah, you can read this and you'll probably think ooohhh shes feeling sorry for herself bla bla bla but maybe I am.. I don't really give a shit. But I do wish sometimes that people would appreciate how much of an achievement it is for me to actually face the world every day. La la la. deep shit man.
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