i remember

i remember my daddy telling us mummy had cancer, and her getting angry and took it out on the banana split she was making for me.
i remember mummy buying ridiculous amounts of cath kidston pajamas because she said that she would be 'spending all her time in pjs, so i might as well have nice ones'.
i remember all the lumps which started to grow on my mummy's body.
i remember when mummy told me she only had 3 months to live.
i remember when i would get home from school and mummy would be alseep.
i remember refusing to talk to mummy.
i remember mummy not being able to breathe when she talked.
i remember mummy not dancing with me because she couldn't stand up. 'i can't, darling. im so sorry'.
i remember mummy being sick all over her bed.
i remember when mummy asked me what hymns i thought there should be at her funeral.
i remember mummy saying that she wanted to write us letters, but could not hold the pen.
i remember when i first saw the scabby, bloody lump growing on her head,which made me not want to go near her.
i remember mummy telling us she loved us more than anything in the world.
i remember mummy saying that if she got better, then she was going to buy a house in cornwall.
i remember mummy shouting at us when we didn't tidy the kitchen.
i remember when mummy did not have the energy to talk to me
i remember when mummy could not walk
i remember when they carried mummy to the ambulance on a stretcher
i remember when mummy cried
i remember when mummy could not hug me.
i remember when mummy told me to always try my best
i remember when mummy could not go to the loo by herself
i remember when mummy could not brush her hair.
i remember when mummy said she was sorry for leaving us.
i remember when mummy died.